I’ve been thinking about what I wrote the other day about secrets. It’s a paradox for me how unimportant the secret itself - and how over-the-top important the act of revealing it without compulsion is for my sense of self.
What I do not have, I can not give away.
It is a wonder and maybe you have found this too: The way it is that when a person reveals their secret to me - when, from a place of trust they reveal some tiny but carefully-kept-hidden part of themselves - they are transformed in my eyes.
Have you ever noticed this? How the sharing of secrets is the first step to friendship?
Surely you have, it’s no great secret.
I worry about us though. The more we flirt with becoming a society professing to believe that “having nothing to hide” is a virtue worth pursuing, the more we put a grave distance between ourselves and that most valuable of relationships: Friendship.
What you do not have, you can not share.
It seems to me that now is (always) a good moment to care about this.
P.S. I have no idea why the title of this post doesn’t want to be my friend…